Tag Archives: Relationships

Facebook Crashed my Relationship

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While my last post mainly focused on new social norms in relationships, this post is more focused on how social media affects romantic relationships. We have all had an experience where there was a post or some picture of our recent love interest that brought up some jealous feelings. It effects relationships in all stages, budding and long term. We can’t fight the feelings that arise, and social media can just throw it in our face.

With an entire page on Facebook dedicated to “How many relationships a year are ruined” by the social site, it raked in over a 100,000 “likes” from disgruntled lovers. This along with many other shocking truths about Facebook and romantic relationships can be found in Katherine Bindley’s Huffington Post article “Facebook Relationship Problems” I found the article to be quite informative for people who are looking for honest and rational ways to evaluate unsettling online incidents regarding a lover.

What is it about Facebook that breeds so much jealousy? An article by Veronica Wells in Discovery news offers on suggestion, it’s too easy to re-connect with ex-lovers. Another product of cyber jealously is that social media sites tend to over inform us on what’s going on in our partner’s lives. Everything online is open to our own person interpretation, and with no tone or body language to translate, it’s easy to get carried away in our insecurities.  As Wells so perfectly describes, “If you think your girlfriend hasn’t seen something on your Facebook profile, you’re wrong. Not only has she seen it, she’s already become enraged, discussed it with her girlfriends and is waiting to confront you about it.”  Her closing argument is one that is all too true, if you’re a jealous person naturally social media, which is proven to increase that emotion is something to be used with a certain digression. So the real question is are we just jealous or is there something about having our partner’s exes live on forever on your news feed that is driving us over the top? The real solution lies in good old fashion communication. No matter of online communication can compensate for two people getting to know each other, or reconciling their differences.

Bibliography

Bindley, K. (Oct. 20, 2011). Facebook Relationship Problems: How social Networking and Jealousy Affect               Your Love Life. Huffington Post, Retrieved from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/09/facebook-relationship-problems-social-networking_n_955980.html

Wells, V. (Feb. 10, 2010). How Facebook Breeds Jealousy. Discovery News, Retrieved from                 http://news.discovery.com/tech/apps/facebook-breeds-jealousy.htm

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Generation of User Generation

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One new social norm that seems firmly established is that, the way you conduct yourself on social networks transfers into your everyday life whether you intend it to or not. People will gain opinions of you after a post that made them uncomfortable in one way or another. Pictures that are posted will be interpreted by the viewer and their interpretation is then free to be shared and seen by millions. This fact along with the fact that anything posted remains on the internet indefinitely is widely accepted and considered today. This makes social interactions more thought out and generated by the idea we don’t want to share anything controversial. In the Huffington Post article “A Culture of Likes” by Sam Fiorella he states best, “We should not be afraid to debate our beliefs. Provided that public dissention is not offered through hate-speech or personal attacks on others, but exchanged in a professional discourse, we should be celebrating those who ask questions…” As a writer I believe that idea generation is the most crucial part of developing creativity and critical thinking.

In an article found on the Psychology Today website called “The Effect of Technology on Relationships” by Alex Lickerman M.D. he talks about many ways certain types of communication are lost over the internet. He uses the term “emotional invisibility” to describe how people can not effectively display their emotions online or through text. He states that communication through the web cannot provide us with the fulfilling communication we need (Lickerman). If people are relying completely on digital methods of communicating then the relationships are incomplete or even non-existent.

I think back to being in highschool, and remember things like AOL instant messenger, and dial up tones and know those things will never be resurrected from the cyber graves again. Do I miss dial up? Absolutely not. From Myspace to Facebook, and picture messages to snapchats, did these changes happen because the were really easier or more attractive or were we coerced by popular culture? In an article by Jonathan Franzen titled “What’s Wrong With the Modern World” he states “The experience of each succeeding generation is so different from that of the previous…” Meaning the social norms accepted by my parents are different than the ones within my generation. Our cultures are completely different, in the same way my view on social norms will differ from my six year old niece’s when she is my age. I can’t say for sure what the effects of social media will continue to have on relationships, maybe redefine them completely, but that’s for another generation to discover.

 

Bibliography

Fiorella, S. (2013, April 29). The social media borg: a culture of likes. Huffington Post. Retrieved from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sam-fiorella/facebook-likes_b_3175615.html

Franzen, J. (2013, September 13). What’s wrong with the modern world. The Guardian. Retrieved from                 http://www.theguardian.com/books/2013/sep/13/jonathan-franzen-wrong-modern-world

Lickerman, A. (2010 June 8). The effect of technology on relationships. Psychology Today. Retrieved from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/happiness-in-world/201006/the-effect-technology-relationships